Summary
Relational Coaching is a radically different way of looking at coaching that puts the relationship, from the perspective of the coachee, at the centre. Relational coaching is part of an age-old tradition but has also been reinforced by a number of reliable studies in recent decades. Relational Coaching gives the modern executive coach ten commandments to help improve his or her practice:
- First, do no harm;
- Have confidence;
- Commit yourself heart and soul to your approach,
even if you know that it
doesn’t matter which
professional approach you choose;
- Feed the hopes of your coachee;
- Consider the coaching from your coachee’s
perspective;
- Work on your coaching relationship,
discuss it explicitly;
- If you don’t ‘click’, find a replacement coach;
- Look after yourself;
- Stay as fresh and unbiased as possible;
- Don’t worry too much about your specific
behaviour in the moment.
This book demonstrates how each of these commandments is underpinned by sound quantitative research.
Relational Coaching gives a complete overview not only of the profession and the latest developments in coaching but also of the state of the art in other respects. The second part of the book presents new quantitative and qualitative research into effects and experiences of coaching. Part III contains an introduction to the activities that make a good coach and the mechanisms used to verify coaches’ understanding of their profession. Other topics covered include training, accreditation, supervision and recommended literature.
Praise
“Navigating through the coaching field is like finding one’s way out of a confusing labyrinth. Too many books, too many quick-fix promises, too many snake oil salesmen, and, unfortunately, too little substance. Given the present state of the field, it was a great pleasure to me to read Erik de Haan’s book Relational Coaching. For a change, here is a contribution that goes beyond the trite and obvious. Instead, the author takes us on an exciting journey to explain what coaching is all about, providing us with a roadmap that is second to none. Anyone interested in better understanding what coaching is all about, would do well to have a serious look at this book.”
Manfred Kets de Vries, Professor of Leadership Development, INSEAD
“I am thrilled that there is a coaching book that emphasizes the coachee and the relationship. In Relational Coaching, Erik de Haan places the emerging profession on a strong foundation that emphasizes the interpersonal aspects of the endeavor. Communication and interpersonal relations have been used throughout evolution to convey information, influence others, and form communities. As De Haan makes imminently clear, it is these aspects of coaching that lead to success and not the various models and methods that have been advocated by various proponents. Carefully, De Haan makes his case and coaches will do well to recognize that it is the relationship with the coachee that is critical.”
Bruce E. Wampold, Professor of Counseling Psychology, University of Wisconsin
“From a vivid personal story just before the first chapter to the fascinating mass of data in the appendices, this book is a captivating read about the concrete particulars of coaching and the theoretical perspectives we can use to make sense of them. Erik de Haan makes a case for relational coaching and prescribes clearly what his research and the tradition within which it is embedded can tell practitioners in the field.”
David Megginson, Professor of Human Resources Development,
Sheffield Hallam University Contents
Preface v
PART I: THE WAYS OF COACHING 1
Introduction: the paths towards coaching 1
1. From intake to intervention:
 the outlines of a profession 5
1.1 Coaching: a new trend? 5
1.2 Developing a coaching relationship 8
1.3 The organisation coach 12
1.4 The coach’s playing fi eld 13
1.5 A coach from inside or outside the organisation? 16
1.6 What works for whom? 17
2. From stigma to status:
the growth of a profession 21
2.1 The exponential growth in coaching practice 21
2.2 Underlying social trends 24
2.3 What can we learn from these trends? 28
3. From prize-fi ghting to prizes for all:
the active ingredients 31
3.1 Ample evidence of great effectiveness 34
3.2 No difference in effectiveness between approaches 34
3.3 The active ingredients are common to all approaches 37
3.4 Working alliance, therapist and client are the most effective
active ingredients 39
3.4.1 The quality of the relationship 39
3.4.2 The person of the therapist 40
3.4.3 The person of the client 43
4. From intervention to interaction:
relational coaching 47
4.1 Ten commandments for the executive coach 47
4.2 Effective coaching means relational coaching 52
4.3 The coaching relationship as a succession of critical moments 56
4.4 Relational coaching makes a difference at critical
moments 61
PART II: THE WAYS OF RESEARCH 65
Introduction: the paths towards research 65
5. Coachees have their say:
which interventions work for us? 69
5.1 Introduction 69
5.2 Description of the study 74
5.2.1 Participants 74
5.2.2 Questionnaires 74
5.2.3 Procedure 78
5.3 Quantitative results:
helpfulness appears to be a generic
experience 79
5.4 Qualitative results:
evaluating the importance of the coaching relationship 86
5.5 Conclusion 89
6. ‘I doubt therefore I coach’:
critical moments of less experienced coaches 93
6.1 Introduction 93
6.2 Initial classifi cation of the 80 moments 94
6.3 Summary in the form of a ‘doubtful’ story 95
6.4 How to handle these critical moments and doubts? 97
6.4.1 Analysis 97
6.4.2 Synthesis 102
6.5 Conclusion 106
7. ‘I struggle and emerge’:
critical moments of experienced coaches 109
7.1 Introduction 109
7.2 Initial classifi cation of the 78 moments 112
7.3 Summary in the form of a ‘doubtful’ story 114
7.4 How to handle these critical moments? 115
7.4.1 Analysis 115
7.4.2 Synthesis 122
7.5 Conclusion 126
8. Coaches have their say:
how to handle critical moments? 131
8.1 Introduction 131
8.2 Description of the study 132
8.2.1 Comparison with previous study of critical moments
of
experienced coaches 133
8.2.2 Study method: the temporal process and supervision
135
8.3 The temporal patterns of the critical moments 137
8.4 How to handle these critical moments: the use of
supervision 143
8.4.1 Analysis 143
8.4.2 Synthesis 148
8.5 Conclusion 150
PART III: THE WAYS OF EXCELLENCE 155
Introduction: the paths towards excellence 155
9. Training and accreditation of the
executive coach 159
9.1 Areas of competence of the coach 159
9.1.1 Convictions and values of the coach 159
9.1.2 Attitude of the coach 161
9.1.3 Knowledge of the coach 161
9.1.4 Strategic skills of the coach 162
9.1.5 Specifi c interventions of the coach 163
9.2 Coach education 164
9.2.1 First year of a masters programme 166
9.2.2 Second year of a masters programme 168
9.2.3 How coach education addresses the various areas of
competence 171
9.3 Coach accreditation 172
9.3.1 Accreditation criteria 173
9.3.2 Accreditation process 176
9.3.3 How coach accreditation addresses the various areas
of competence 181
10. Continuing professional development of the
executive coach 185
10.1 Individual professional development: reflective
practice 187
10.2 Co-coaching and peer consultation 187
10.3 Coaching supervision 189
10.3.1 Process of individual supervision 195
10.3.2 Process of group supervision 197
11. Library of the executive coach 203
11.1 Introduction: coaching and reading 203
11.2 A historical overview in fi ction 204
11.2.1 Homer’s Odyssey: the triumph of mentor-coach
Athena 204
11.2.2 Plato’s Meno: the encounter with the
numbfish 207
11.2.3 Yalom’s When Nietzsche wept: the mid-life crisis 209
11.3 Milestones in the coaching literature 211
11.3.1 Stroeken’s Kleine psychologie van het gesprek:
a vade mecum for helping conversations 211
11.3.2 O’Neill’s Executive coaching with backbone and heart:
the coach as partner 214
11.3.3 Peltier’s The psychology of executive coaching:
systematic inspiration 216
11.4 Milestones in psychotherapy 218
11.4.1 Heron’s Helping the client: specific helping interventions 218
11.4.2 Rogers’ On becoming a person: sharing something of me 221
11.4.3 Malan’s Individual psychotherapy: the science of coaching 223
11.5 Books about care for the coach 225
11.5.1 Miller’s Das Drama des begabten Kindes:
how did we actually become coaches? 225
11.5.2 Foucault’s Fearless speech:
the care of the self 228
11.5.3 Hawkins’ & Shohet’s Supervision in the helping professions:
and who takes care of the coach? 231
12. Future of the executive coach 235
12.1 The role of research in coaching 237
12.2 The role of coaching in organisations 238
APPENDIX A: 80 CRITICAL MOMENTS OF NEW COACHES 243
APPENDIX B: 78 CRITICAL MOMENTS OF EXPERIENCED COACHES 261
APPENDIX C: CASE STUDY: TAMARA 291
APPENDIX D: VERBATIM TRANSCRIPT: KEN 303
APPENDIX E: CODE OF CONDUCT FOR EXECUTIVE COACHES 311
1. General principles 311
2. Code of ethics 312
3. Code of Practice 313
APPENDIX F: INTAKE INSTRUMENTS AND CHECKLISTS 315
1. For the recipient of coaching 315
2. For the coach 317
3. For triangular contracts 318
Literature 321
Index 329
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